Dee Moyza

I did my snowshoe hike today! It was a lot of fun, and the area is gorgeous! It was my first time actually being in the snow -- I've seen it fall a few times, but it never accumulated -- so I was out clomping around in it like a little kid before the hike organizers even got there! XD

The only downside to the morning was that I was not able to complete the loop. I get altitude sickness, and it generally kicks in at a gain of 6,500-7,000 feet.

I first discovered this in Flagstaff, which sits at an elevation of nearly 7,000 feet. I visited from my hometown, which is only 100-odd feet above sea level. I was okay for a little while, then the queasiness started, and was exacerbated by my becoming dehydrated during a hike, and then I wound up in the ER, where the prescription was, "Get off the mountain."

I live at about 2,000 feet above sea level now, and have adapted, so I was hoping the altitude sickness might not get to me (as much). But with a starting elevation of 8,400 feet, I could only make it about 3/4 of the way up the trail. A volunteer offered to wait with me while the group went up and back so I could return with them, and I got to spend time next to a little creek, listening to the birds, so it wasn't bad at all.

I also picked up some facts about the area from the guide, and learned how to waddle about in snowshoes. I think I did pretty well, for a first-timer! :)

On the way back, I stopped at a pullout with a scenic view to snap a few pictures, then decided to return to the head of the trail I hiked back in November to just frolic about in the snow for a while, at a more manageable elevation. Without the snowshoes, however, I sunk in up to my knees at one point, and flailed about for a few seconds before trudging out; I'm sure at least one of the other people up there saw this and laughed. I know I was laughing at myself! XD

I also come bearing pictures, if anyone would like to see!

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...regarding that "job acquired" post in early December. That job is now a no-go. It was my decision, based on several factors, including the type of work, the location, the schedule, but most of all, the attitude the administrative ladies took with me during the onboarding process. Endless games of phone tag (heaven forbid we actually just send an email!), and, once I did contact them, a string of, "You NEED to do this! And this! Do you ~understand~?" like I was a damn idiot. And when I'd told them I'd already registered my account on the company's site and filled in the requisite paperwork, they simply repeated themselves.

This did not bode well for the job, itself, I thought. And I really don't want to go right back into that kind of environment when I've just left it.

But on the other hand, I know where I stand. I know people assume I'm an idiot just because I work in unskilled labor. But I'm only there because no one else will give me a chance! *sigh* Whatever. Fourteen years in the same industry is the nail in your career coffin, it seems.

I had another interview last week with a job that pays even more and is union(!), and has better working hours, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If I can't climb out of this job gutter, maybe I can at least find a place that gives me simple human respect (ha!).

And no, I still haven't rejoined the creative community, because apparently, my brain also hates me. :/

I grew up with cats. At any point during my childhood and young adulthood, there were three or four cats in the house. Eventually, though, as my parents got older and I moved out and the cats grew old and passed away, we never got around to getting more. But I am totally a cat person, and every day I rage at the ridiculous pet fees that prevent me from having a delightful floofball of my own.

Anyway.

Yesterday, I came home from the grocery store and saw a half-grown kitten lounging on the stairs to the apartment across from mine. I said hello to it, as I do to every animal I come across (yes, even the freaking chuckwallas that scare the crap out of me along hiking trails), and instead of ignoring me as most cats do, this little precious meowed, ran down the stairs, ran up my stairs, and trotted inside my apartment.

As much as I wanted to claim the cat as mine, I cannot afford it at the moment, so I escorted cutie-patootie outside, gave them a bowl of water and some torn-up turkey slices (not the best for kitty, I know, but I have no cat food on hand), and spent a bit of time acquainting myself. This little cat was already so socialized and friendly, they must belong to someone. After a while, they got bored of me and left, and I went inside; but when I went to take out the trash in the evening, they were on the same stairs of the other apartment again, and we went through our little meeting all over.

So, I assume they belong to whomever lives in that apartment. Fine. But I really hate it when people just turn their cats loose to run around outside. I mean, people fly through this parking lot like it's the freaking speedway, and other people insist on owning huge dogs that could swallow a cat in a single gulp. And then there are the birds; unsuspecting sparrows become quick meals for hungry and under-stimulated cats. Not to mention the heat: it's routinely hitting the triple digits here now, and it's only going to get worse for the next few months. So, basically, if you don't want to deal with a cat indoors, don't get one, instead of punishing the little creature that trusts you. (Alternatively, pay my pet fees, and I will gladly take it off your hands!)

I haven't seen kitty this morning, so hopefully, their people took them inside. Still, just spending time with a cat again after all these years brought back so many good feelings. Maybe after I find out how much my lease will increase upon renewal, I might be able to budget for a pet fee in the future.

(In the meantime, though, I've got to get off my ass and visit the local cat cafe!)

I met with my new therapist yesterday, and within ten minutes, she said, "We need to get you a better job."

(This could have something to do with the therapy "resume" I prepared for her, and my admission that I freaking love designing pointless documents and presentations and mock advertisements -- yes, I'm weird.)

And I agree with her, wholeheartedly, but I can't help but feel foolish applying for anything other than custodial work, knowing full well I'll be rejected. I was once rejected for a museum job for which I matched 100% of the qualifications -- including proficiency in the archival software they use -- because my application did not indicate that I knew how to answer a phone or use a computer. I wish I was kidding, but you can see where my job-search trepidation comes from.

Also, I hate to admit this, but on the off-chance something did click, I'm just afraid of such a big change. My schedule right now sucks, but I've gotten used to it, and it works out really well for getting my mom to her appointments. And it works out well for my writing, and I'm just plain acclimated to it. Like the lyric from "Landslide," I have built my life around people and habits and things, and changing any of that, even for the better, is scary.

But what does staying the same ultimately cost?

It's a balance only I can decide, I know, and it's not like anything is going to change right away. But my therapist has tasked me with calling HR directly and scheduling a meeting to discuss possible professional opportunities within the company. She's pushing me, and it's uncomfortable, and it's not even remotely the reason I went to see her, but I think it's something I need to address.

I like her already. :D

What it says. After several crappy weeks (months?), I seem to have finally regained ownership of my brain and creativity. Turns out the culprit was not my depression meds, as I had feared, but my birth control. A few months ago I switched from the one I've been using for a while because my insurance suddenly decided they weren't going to cover the generic version (and wanted a hefty copay for the brand-name). I dutifully gave this new bc a chance, but asked to go back to the previous one, whereupon my gyno suggested GoodRx, which I forgot even existed, but...why not remind me of this earlier, before I had three months of breakdown in slow-mo?!

Anyway, after a week back on my usual pill, I'm happy to say that my concentration and creativity have returned. Woooo! \o/

...But maybe not in time for the Valentine's fics I wanted to write. I'll try to crank one out today, fingers crossed. If not, I have a blatantly shameless self-promo post of my favorite shippy one-shots queued up, anyway. Hey, if we don't toot our own horns every now and then, we get lost in the noise! :)

Feels good to be back. :D

I'm ever so slowly wading into Twitter. My account is still set to private, mainly because I haven't posted anything yet. But I won't say it hasn't come without a boatload of social anxiety. Joining anything new always does. I have a stupid fear that I'm bothering people or intruding into others' spaces, and that always takes a bit of time to get over.

I did find this lovely guide to better curating your experience on Twitter by tobli on my Network page here on DW, and I love the suggestions! I've set up a private list at the moment, and liked a few tweets, and it really just helps to get my feet wet before jumping into the giant pool that is Twitter.

I'm still definitely in the "trying to get comfortable" phase right now, but I hope I can use it to expand my fannish interaction once I do settle in.

For the most part, I've had a pretty decent experience on Tumblr. I like the UI, I love the chronological feed, and I have a lot of fun chattering away in the tags. But this latest steaming pile of BS is just...tiring. And it makes me wonder exactly what kind of relationship exists between Tumblr and Apple.

I use Tumblr on desktop and Android, so this change doesn't affect my experience directly, but it definitely affects the reach of everyone's posts. Especially since so many people on Tumblr are wonderfully creative, it's sad to think that one wrong innocuous tag could hide a lovely story or a beautiful picture from so many others.

It's just plain stupid, and it's only going to make the situation Tumblr purports to improve much, much worse. Yes, tags are used for searching, but I'd argue that their primary function is for filtering. For example, I have a weak stomach and strong imagination, and therefore, I cannot handle seeing gore, so I filter that tag out. Incentivizing people to avoid tagging things that might be triggers/squicks/plain unpleasant to others only puts everyone at risk of coming across content that offends or upsets them. In short, Tumblr is actively removing the controls currently in place for people to curate a safe, enjoyable experience for themselves.

And what's with some of these banned tags? Self reblog? Long post? About? Queue??! Just...WTF? Preaching to the choir, here, I know, but I need to vent because half-assed "safety" measures like this that make the whole place even more unsafe for everyone involved just make me want to beat my head against the wall. (Don't worry, I won't! XD)

Anyway, while I'm not jumping ship on Tumblr just yet, I have been looking to expand my social media presence a bit, and I've been kicking around the idea of setting up a Twitter account for a while. I'm not sure about it, though, and I was wondering if anyone might be willing to share their impressions of/experience with the site. For reference, I'm planning to use it similar to how I use my Tumblr, that is, for "fangirling, writing, cute stuff and randomness," and my favorite fandoms are either small, old, or both.

So, bearing that in mind, would Twitter be a decent fit? Are there any tips for getting started that anyone would like to share? A lot of my fandom conversations on Tumblr have dried up as of late, and it's getting pretty lonely, so I'd be happy if I could find a place to rekindle that feeling of community. Just sending out my feelers here, so any help or advice is appreciated. Thanks! :D

It's been a while since I've posted here. I haven't been creating much of my own to share, but I thought I'd pop in and share some nice music.

Watch on YouTube

To be honest, I'd pretty much written off The Killers after Wonderful Wonderful. But Imploding the Mirage was a delightful return to form, and their latest, Pressure Machine, is a dramatic departure, but fairly impressive, overall. There's still the signature lyrical quirks (even some of the rhymes in the song above are labored), but the stripped-back sound and darker tone are an interesting turn. The little snippets of interviews in between songs complement the atmosphere really well, to the point where the album feels like a mini-documentary of small-town life (I could've done without the story about the horse, though; that's one of the reasons I chose to share the live version of this song, which, thankfully, doesn't include it).

As intriguing as this album is, personally, it nails the small-town feeling a little too well to be a comfortable experience for me. The place I grew up in was not exactly small, but it suffered from some of the more problematic elements of small-town life. You couldn't get anywhere if you didn't know the right people or speak the right dialect, jobs were scarce, drug use and gang activity were all too common. Hearing the stories on this album evokes some pretty clear memories of my own hometown, and listened to all the way through, it begins to feel a bit claustrophobic.

But that's just me.

Anyway, "Runaway Horses" quickly became my favorite track on the album, and I thought I'd share it here. :)

That's where you'll find my A/C, and my brain. Luckily, the former should be fixed today. The latter...well, that's pretty much its permanent address.

I had a good holiday weekend. Because I have such severe startle reactions to fireworks, and because I refused to sleep in the bathroom like I have in years past, we booked a room in a hotel in one of the city's suburbs. There were still random fireworks going off in the area, but the insulated windows muffled them sufficiently. And bonus! We were able to see two actual fireworks shows from the room! One at the shopping mall across the street from the hotel, and then the city's main display in the distance. Overall, a nice little break I sorely needed.

However, no writing figured into that break at all, nor into the days since. I still have to thank a few authors for some exchange gifts (I'm eager to share links to them once I get those thank-you comments written!), reply to a few AO3 comments, and somehow, come up with two fics for two exchanges in two weeks' time.

I am in over my head. But historically, I've always tended to do my best work from here.

If I could only shake this mid-summer lethargy, though! My days are spent with all the energy and charm of a wrung-out dishrag.