Dee Moyza

I had a cute idea for a romance story so I wrote out a quick synopsis and how, oh how, did I end up with both parties going their separate ways and the FMC resigning herself to a loveless existence?


...



I mean, I know I'm cynical, but this takes the cake. Can't even have a little fun in my own head. XD

Writing remains frustratingly difficult for me at the moment, so I'm continuing to channel my creative energy into archiving my existing stories, this time on Neocities. My little archive is such a try-hard endeavor, with slightly different styles for each fandom, meaning that I have way too many stylesheets for such a small project. ^^; But it's been a lot of fun and keeps me from spiraling into anxiety or depression.

The rest of my Neocities is still in shambles, though. Eventually, I want to have a nice little site with some pages for my main fandoms, and maybe a little mini-shrine or two for my favorite characters (remember character shrines? I thought those were the pinnacle of coolness twenty, twenty-five years ago, and my opinion hasn't changed). I'm really not well-versed in CSS, but thankfully, there are so many tutorials out there, that's not a problem.

My creative expression is looking very different these days; I miss writing, but as long as I'm using my brain and playing around with words and pretty graphics, I feel pretty good. I'm hoping that someday, this all might circle back around to making new stories to archive and share. :)

We're a bit short-staffed at work right now, so I'm smack in the middle of several six-day workweeks. Writing, archiving, and anything that requires more effort than Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley is on (even further) hold for the moment.

Oh, but the paychecks will be delicious. (Doing my best to stay on the bright side here! XD)

Even though I orphaned my last fic, I have been monitoring feedback, and likely will continue to do so for a few more days, simply because it helps me gauge reader reaction. So far, the fic has received two comments, both of which came from readers who apparently enjoyed it, and this has led me to a realization: my opinion on my own work is not an accurate reflection of its general quality. I have always held myself and my work to a higher standard than I demand of others, and I think part of that has to do with my own ego. While I know I'll never create a Masterpiece, I can't accept creating anything that falls short of that -- if you guessed that this mindset means I'm dissatisfied with a lot of my output, you'd be correct. But readers, myself included, are not looking for masterpieces; we just want coherent, enjoyable stories to read, and I can deliver that, at least.

So no, I don't regret orphaning this particular fic, but I am encouraged by the reaction to it. I don't have to always bring my A-game, so to speak, to make something other people can enjoy. Knowing this, perhaps I have been putting way too much pressure on myself, especially in regard to original fic. Maybe it's time to dust those little story ideas off and give them a fair chance.

Never mind, I had a decent sleep and a snack and now the story doesn't look so bad. #writerlife

Now with 100% less sarcasm.

Happy New Year! (Bubble gets an encore this year. ;) )

This year, I'd like to slowly get back into writing. I've signed up for getyourwordsout again, I've placed a claim over at 1character, and I've signed up for candyheartsex, hoping to get some inspiration flowing. I've also resurrected my writeblr, though all I have there now is a reblogged list of references.

Last year, I managed to write a little over 11k words, which surprised me; so if I could manage that in a year like 2025, I feel like I can at least match that this year.

In one of my previous posts, I also wished for a new media obsession, and I kinda-sorta found one, though I would say "obsession" is a rather strong word for it. I had seen several people on my Bluesky feed gushing about The Amazing Digital Circus, and I decided to check it out. On a cursory glance, I assumed it would be as absurdist as its character designs and probably insufferably edgy, but I am happy to say it proved me wrong! I think the characters are written very well, and the story has me hooked. I am also now emotionally invested in a sentient chess piece, thank you very much, Gooseworx.

But, Jax, in addition to being my least favorite character, is also obviously fangirl catnip, so I will be avoiding the fandom in general and just enjoying the show for what it is. (I learned my lesson with Aggretsuko.)

I don't know if it's just a side effect of getting older, but I really have lost patience with characters that are cynical/edgy/too-cool-for-you. In the case of Jax, it's obvious that there is something he's trying to hide or deny, and I am interested in his character in that respect. But he's just so needlessly mean to the others (especially poor Gangle!) that I can't be bothered to actually like him. /rant

So, at least I've got a few things going for the start of the year, and hey, I already survived the first day of 2026! Hooray for small victories! :D

This year has been... A Thing, for a lot of people, and I am not excluded from that company.

At least twice this year, I've posted about getting back to being creative and productive. And both times, I've fallen right back into my current rut. So, I'm not going to declare myself so back!!!1!! this time, but maybe take a quieter, gentler look forward to what I'd like to try next year.

On fanfiction:

I'd like to finish up some requests from forever ago, and read and comment on my mountain of a backlog. But in 2026, I think I might shift away from fanfic in general. It's not that I don't love it; I do! But my fandoms are small and quiet and there's just not a lot of chatter (specifically, meta and squee) to make them feel like fandoms anymore. As such, writing fanfic just feels pointless. It's not as much an issue of feedback as it is one of atmosphere: posting fanfic feels like doing a bit in a variety show; even if the audience doesn't applaud, they're there, and you've been a part of something that exists outside your head. But there is very little motivation to play to an empty house.

On other writing:

I'd like to try my hand at some longer original stories, preferably around novella length. And I'd like to try to get one out there into the world, just to see what that feels like.

On other stuff:

I'd like to actually finish a dang book! It doesn't matter how much fun I'm having with a book, if I can't finish it in one sitting, I never will. I'm not sure how to explain it. I've found some enjoyable reads, but nothing has actually hooked me. I haven't found a story that makes me want to pick it up again, and I find that very, very sad. :(

I'd like to try drawing some more, and maybe figure out a style that works for me. I'm enjoying trying out different styles, but it would be nice to land on one that I feel comfortable with, and most importantly, one that I can replicate. It's a learning process, and I'm trying very hard not to judge myself too harshly as I go along.

I'd like to find a new media fixation. Something that I can analyze and daydream about, if only to give me something other than worries with which to fill my idle time. Fandom attachment is strange for me. I can enjoy something wholeheartedly, yet not be moved to participate in fandom. I still don't know what it is exactly about the fandoms I do have that made them "click" for me, but I'd like to feel that again, please and thank you.

I'm trying to go easy on myself for next year. I miss the things I used to love, but coming back to them seems to be a waiting game.

1,619 words yesterday, most of which I think I will scrap. Not because they're bad, but because they don't get to the heart of the story.

I am not a long-form writer. I have written a few stories that broke 20k words, and even a couple that broke 50k, but that is not the norm for me. Most stories I write tend to be somewhere between 1500 and 5k words, and these shorter fics come with their own set of issues, the primary one being, where to begin.

( Writing blather )

I have been writing for most of my life, but even now, I'm still learning how to best do things. And admitting when a project is not working and deciding to start over from scratch is something I've found to be quite liberating. I may never completely understand where to start my stories, but I'm getting better at discovering the right point somewhere along the way.

Yoinked from Bluesky:


1. List 3 shipping tropes you love

♥ Friends to lovers
♥ Mutual pining
♥ Fix-it fic

(Can you tell I'm not much of a tropey reader?)

2. List 3 shipping tropes you don't love

× Fake dating
× Enemies to lovers where their animosity is based on immaturity and has no more depth than grade-school playground bs
× Grumpy/sunshine - Yes, I am putting this here because even though I like its narrative potential, it has been too frequently so poorly executed as to leave me wondering why either character can even stand to be in the general vicinity of the other. Piss-poor writing by actually published authors is to blame for my newfound hatred of this trope!

(Can you also tell that my recent foray into romancelandia has left me bitter and scarred?)

3. One emotional aspect of a ship that always gets you

Devotion. The kind where both characters will weather any storm that comes at them without running away, without breaking up, without taking it out on each other. The kind of devotion that makes aging beautiful, the kind that makes the characters feel safe in one another's company.

4. One physical aspect of a ship that always gets you

Light, tender touches. They're so effective regardless of the stage of the relationship the characters are at. Just starting out? Way to up the tension! In an established relationship? Wonderfully comforting and/or a prelude to a sweet love scene. Together for what feels like forever? An affirmation of connection and a comfort with vulnerability.

They're just so versatile! ♥

5. Multiship or mono ship?

Okay, now we're getting into "it depends" territory. Because this does totally depend on the fandom. I like and write both, but in some fandoms, I just can't imagine certain characters in other pairings.

6. Rarepairs or mainstream?

Most of my pairings are mainstream within fandoms small enough that they qualify as rarepairs overall. XD

7. Polyamory or monogamy?

Once again, it depends. On the fandom, and the characters. I've only written monogamous ships so far, but if I feel it fits the characters, I'd definitely consider writing poly.

8. If the ship is physical, reversible or not?

I hate, hate, HATE how so many people assume that romantic/sexual roles are not only hard, defined, and immutable, but also an indicator of personality! I realize that there are people irl who have hard and fast preferences, but there are also plenty who like to switch things up every now and again. Whatever the characters are up for in the moment, I'm on board.

So, reversible.

9. Do you always have romantic ships for fandoms?

No. There are some fandoms where romance just never enters the equation.

10. How important is the sexual part (if any) for your ship?

Listen, I like smut, but it really isn't the core of any ship for me. It's like the cherry on top, fun and sweet, but not necessary for me to enjoy the sundae.

11. Opinion on platonic ships?

Love 'em! I don't write nearly enough of them, but they can be fun ways to explore character dynamics. Not everything has to end in love or sex.

12. List 3 ships you currently love

♥ Barney/Valancy (The Blue Castle)
♥ Red/Auden (Transistor)
♥ Auron/Lulu (Final Fantasy X)

13. List 5 OTPs from other fandoms

I'm not sure I even have 5 OTPs from other fandoms, at least not fandoms I've been active in. Let's see:

• Squall/Rinoa (Final Fantasy VIII)
• Celes/Terra (Final Fantasy VI)
Okay, I'm gonna throw some platonic ships in here (because yes, they count as OTPs in their own way, to me!):
• Aya & Daniel (Parasite Eve)
• Reki & Rakka (Haibane Renmei)
• The girls and James (a platonic OT5 from Derry Girls)

14. Opinion on the importance of marriage?

Generally, none. In fandoms where the characters are already married, however, I do like to imagine them having a good time together.

15. Opinion on OC kids?

NOPE.

Last night, I stepped onto the burlesque stage for the first time in two years. To say I was rusty is an understatement. It did not go well. Everything from a garter slipping down my leg before it was supposed to be removed to my (admittedly cheap, toy) handcuffs breaking during tech rehearsal to said handcuffs catching my pasty and giving people a glimpse of The Forbidden™ on my way offstage, these little mishaps just grated me further. I will own that I was underprepared (between both jobs and a smattering of interviews, the past two weeks were chaos), and that I did not practice walking in heels nearly enough given my time away from them, but at least my props could've played nice!

But if nothing else, I was able to provide one thing for the show: to make everyone else look better. And there were some magnificent performers there, and not just the pro they brought in to make sure that everyone felt they got their money's worth! XD Lots of beautiful costumes and fun routines, and everyone was so supportive and kind. So, despite the frustrations, I did have fun, though I was tired enough from working yesterday morning that I kind of spaced out and left before the tips were divvied up (don't worry, I picked up my share today), and missed out on a post-show gathering over pasties (the edible kind).

It was good to be back. I'm not sure when I'll get another chance, but I hope that when I do, things go a little bit more smoothly!