![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deemoyzaI met with my new therapist yesterday, and within ten minutes, she said, "We need to get you a better job."
(This could have something to do with the therapy "resume" I prepared for her, and my admission that I freaking love designing pointless documents and presentations and mock advertisements -- yes, I'm weird.)
And I agree with her, wholeheartedly, but I can't help but feel foolish applying for anything other than custodial work, knowing full well I'll be rejected. I was once rejected for a museum job for which I matched 100% of the qualifications -- including proficiency in the archival software they use -- because my application did not indicate that I knew how to answer a phone or use a computer. I wish I was kidding, but you can see where my job-search trepidation comes from.
Also, I hate to admit this, but on the off-chance something did click, I'm just afraid of such a big change. My schedule right now sucks, but I've gotten used to it, and it works out really well for getting my mom to her appointments. And it works out well for my writing, and I'm just plain acclimated to it. Like the lyric from "Landslide," I have built my life around people and habits and things, and changing any of that, even for the better, is scary.
But what does staying the same ultimately cost?
It's a balance only I can decide, I know, and it's not like anything is going to change right away. But my therapist has tasked me with calling HR directly and scheduling a meeting to discuss possible professional opportunities within the company. She's pushing me, and it's uncomfortable, and it's not even remotely the reason I went to see her, but I think it's something I need to address.
I like her already. :D
(This could have something to do with the therapy "resume" I prepared for her, and my admission that I freaking love designing pointless documents and presentations and mock advertisements -- yes, I'm weird.)
And I agree with her, wholeheartedly, but I can't help but feel foolish applying for anything other than custodial work, knowing full well I'll be rejected. I was once rejected for a museum job for which I matched 100% of the qualifications -- including proficiency in the archival software they use -- because my application did not indicate that I knew how to answer a phone or use a computer. I wish I was kidding, but you can see where my job-search trepidation comes from.
Also, I hate to admit this, but on the off-chance something did click, I'm just afraid of such a big change. My schedule right now sucks, but I've gotten used to it, and it works out really well for getting my mom to her appointments. And it works out well for my writing, and I'm just plain acclimated to it. Like the lyric from "Landslide," I have built my life around people and habits and things, and changing any of that, even for the better, is scary.
But what does staying the same ultimately cost?
It's a balance only I can decide, I know, and it's not like anything is going to change right away. But my therapist has tasked me with calling HR directly and scheduling a meeting to discuss possible professional opportunities within the company. She's pushing me, and it's uncomfortable, and it's not even remotely the reason I went to see her, but I think it's something I need to address.
I like her already. :D
