A Snippet with No Name (Yet)

[deemoyza]

In response to tiny_ninja's Snowflake Challenge post, I wrote a little snippet that kind of got away from me. Inspired by the lyric, I lost my place, but I can't stop this story, have a little post-FFX Lulu and Yuna, wondering about their futures and paving the way for my headcanon of Lulu as Besaid's official historian.

I hope you like it! Thanks for the inspiration! :)

The night was warm and humid, even with the entrance to her hut flung open, and Lulu wiped the sweat from her brow and returned to her loom. A year after their victory over Yu Yevon, her remaining comrades had found their respective places in this new world—Yuna receiving visitors in the temple and calming their crises of faith without Yevon, Rikku excavating spheres to piece together Spira's history, Wakka becoming the coach for the Aurochs, and Kimahri becoming Elder of the Ronso—and left her behind. She took to spending her days with the weaving-women of the island and tried to find fulfillment in her new vocation.

Tidus had always spoken of lives as stories, and he'd loudly proclaimed his own, like a child clinging to their favorite toy, whenever he felt threatened. Lulu found it annoying, initially, and throughout most of the pilgrimage. But now, sitting at her loom, the cheers and celebration that had welcomed her home a distant memory, she wondered what story her life would tell, and whether it was even coherent at all.

Her life, it seemed, proceeded in segments, each with a clear beginning and end: her early days in the temples, after her parents died; her pilgrimage with Lady Ginnem, until Lady Ginnem died; those brief idyllic years in Besaid, and in Chappu's arms, until he died; Father Zuke's pilgrimage, Yuna's pilgrimage, and now here. The only common thread she could find among them was death. As an end or as a beginning or as a shadow hovering at the edge of her consciousness, it ran through her life, stringing together her emotions and her decisions, tying them all together in a sad and morbid tale.

If her life truly was her story, she couldn't say where she currently stood in the narrative. She'd lost her place, over and over again, but she couldn't stop the story from unfolding, couldn't help but be pulled along, like the threads in her loom.

Perhaps this was all there was for her. The thought passed through her mind, heavy and gray, threatening to drag her heart down with it. She abandoned her place at the loom with a sigh and stepped outside her hut. The smell of the evening's bonfire still hung in the air, and a symphony of night creatures drifted in from the forest. She turned toward the temple and saw Yuna standing beneath its arches, clad in a thin white nightgown, looking out to the sea. Lulu smiled and approached her.

"You cannot sleep?" She asked. Yuna shook her head. "You should at least try to," Lulu continued, a teasing lilt in her voice.  "People do not make the journey here to speak with a drowsy High Summoner."

Yuna shrugged. Such an unfamiliar, apathetic reaction from her.

Lulu sat on the edge of the portico and motioned for Yuna to join her. "What is the matter? What troubles you?"

"I'm…not sure." Yuna's voice was hardly loud enough to not get carried away by the breeze. "I know I am doing what is right. I know I am doing what I can…but am I doing all I can?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"People come to me seeking reassurance, and I tell them what they want to hear. To keep their faith in themselves and others, and to be kind to one another, so they may honor the legacy of the teachings. But I'm not sure I believe any of it, myself." Yuna drew a deep breath. "We know now what those teachings were based on, the ends to which they were used. Speaking of them feels…hollow. I don't feel like I'm doing anything worthwhile anymore."

She leaned against Lulu, and Lulu rubbed her arm. "I understand now. But you are doing something. You are giving people faith, and hope, and reassurance in the face of change. You are keeping them calm and strong until Spira's new leadership emerges."

"I am doing no more than what the priests and priestesses have done before me." Yuna stared out to sea in silence for several moments. "Do you remember what he said?"

"Tidus?"

Yuna winced, her sense of loss evidently still fresh. "Yes, Tidus. He talked about his story, and how he would make it go the way he wanted it to. Did you believe him?"

"I'm not sure. It all sounded so—"

"I did. It made him seem strong, invincible, in control, even when it became clear he wasn't. I wanted to feel that way, and I did, for a while. Facing down Yunalesca, then Sin and Seymour and finally Yu Yevon himself…I felt alive, in a way I hadn't before. And in a way I haven't since." She picked at a loose thread along the hem of her nightgown. "This isn't my story anymore. It's Spira's…again. Is it wrong of me to feel sad about that? Am I just being selfish?"

She turned her face to Lulu, flushed and streaked with tears. Lulu smiled sadly and wiped her tears away, unable to pass any kind of judgment on Yuna for voicing the very same feelings she'd had tonight.

"No," she said gently, "you're not selfish. It's not wrong. I think…I think it's only natural."

"It's also very brave to follow one's story. I wish I could be that brave."

"What are you saying? Everything you've done is the very definition of bravery."

"Everything…but living for myself." Yuna gestured to the sea. "If I could go anywhere I wanted, right now, would I? Where would I go? How long would I stay? When would I return? Would I return?"

"Would you?"

"I'm not…entirely sure. Lulu, if you could go anywhere, at this moment, where would you go? Who would you see, and what would you do?"

"I don't know. I've never thought about it."

"Then don't think too hard! The first place that comes to mind. Come on, Lulu, where?"

Lulu looked away, a flustered laugh squeezing out of her throat. "Oh, I don't—I'm not—what about Luca?"

"Yes, Luca! We could watch a blitzball game, or enjoy the music at their theater. Or—oh! We could try the food at their cafes!" Yuna giggled, acting for the moment like the teenager she was. "And we could board another ship from there, and go…go see Rikku at Bikanel! Or maybe Kimahri...it's been so long since I've seen him, I hope he's doing well."

"And after that?"

"And after that, who knows? Spira is so open now, so different! I could visit anywhere I went on my pilgrimage, and it would be new to me. Maybe I will! Maybe I'll walk down to the beach and get on the first boat, and finally write my story."

"What about me? Will you leave me behind?"

"Of course not! You can write yours, too!" Yuna sighed. "Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful, just to go? Just to feel alive again?"

As Yuna finished speaking, soft footsteps approached from behind. She and Lulu turned around to see a temple priestess, who smiled, made the sign of Yevon—nothing more than a reflex, at this point—and bowed deeply.

"Forgive me, High Summoner Yuna," she said, "but you mustn't be out here so late. Your guests will be here very early, and you should be well-rested when you greet them."

"Yes, I suppose I should." Yuna cast Lulu a pleading look, as if asking her to intervene. But if, as the highest authority on Besaid, Yuna would not contradict the priestess, Lulu had no place to, either.

"The priestess is right, Yuna," she said, rising and helping Yuna to her feet. "You must prepare for your audience tomorrow."

"Can't you stay with me, just a little bit longer?"

"It is best that you go straight to sleep, High Summoner," the priestess said, already guiding Yuna toward the entrance. She excused herself from Lulu's presence with a curt nod, and hurried inside, unaware of the sphere that slipped from her pocket and clattered to the ground. Lulu said nothing, but availed herself of the opportunity to view the sphere once Yuna and the priestess were out of sight.

It contained nothing particularly interesting, just the extension of the dock to accommodate larger ships. Still, it was a piece of Besaid history thought long forgotten. And here the priestess had so carelessly placed it in a pocket of her robe, as if it were an ordinary message.

Lulu weighed the sphere in her hand. She knew there were others like it, scattered around the island, and even around other parts of Spira. Rikku frequently brought any that featured Besaid in the slightest capacity to the temple, for collation; if only she knew how little they cared. Perhaps Lulu should intervene the next time Rikku visited, and ask to see the sphere first. Perhaps she should start a collection of her own, the official one that the temple clergy seemed in no hurry to curate.

If she could not write her own story, at the moment, then perhaps she could help piece together Besaid's, and by extension, Spira's.

Or, perhaps it was all just a silly dream, like Yuna's yearning for the open sea.

A dream was better than nothing, however; after all, a boisterous dream helped buoy Yuna's spirits on her pilgrimage, and helped her achieve her victory. What could it hurt to dream a little? Lulu stowed the sphere in her sleeve and hurried back to her hut.

The sphere shone brilliantly in the light of the following morning, on a shelf above her loom. Lulu paused her work and gazed at it often, lost in its luster, in its history, in the possibilities it awakened in her. And, for the first time in a long time, she felt a little less lost in her own story. She'd found her bookmark, the next blank page. Now, it was up to her to take up the pen.

It was, after all, her story to write.

Comments

[tiny_ninja]

Can I just have a moment to squee over the fact that 1. you wrote something to go with one of my prompts!! and 2. it's for one of my favorite fandoms?! ♥

I adore this! The idea of stories is so prevalent in FFX and it's nice to see it honored in a sequel, in a way it wasn't in FFX-2. It wasn't just about Tidus' story, but Yuna learning to take the reins of her own life. Extending that to the other characters also makes sense. I'm also a sucker for any Lulu and Yuna content where their relationship is akin to the sisters I always saw them to be.

Thank you for writing this - I hope you had fun in doing so! Also, if you're cool with it, would you be okay if I friended you on this journal? We write for the same fandoms (and have even written for each other!) and I think it would be nice to keep in touch. :)

[deemoyza]

I'm so glad you liked this! :D The word "story" sparked the idea for a FFX snippet; then I got to thinking about the other characters' stories, and how not all of them got a satisfying ending, and the snippet just took off from there.

And I will always see Lulu and Yuna as sisters! There are just too many small, gentle gestures between them in FFX for me to see them any other way. :)

I'd totally be all right with you friending me here. I hope you don't mind if I do the same. :)

Thanks again for the prompts, and the nice comment! ❤

[tiny_ninja]

You're right about not everyone getting a satisfying ending. I still hate that X-2 reduced Lulu to being Wakka's baby mama, even when I wasn't sold on the Lulu/Wakka relationship to begin with, lol. She's so much better off with Auron

Right?? They were raised together and Lulu, Yuna, and Wakka together are peak found family vibes.

And please friend away! I already added you to mine. ♥