Weekly Writing Update

[deemoyza]

Ugh. I just defaulted on several exchanges, two of which had rapidly approaching deadlines I simply couldn't meet, and the other because of a tonal mismatch. I am not pleased, but I am relieved. This whole year has been quite strange, but the past couple of months have been a bit blarggg for me, and I haven't really been able to concentrate. I know I got in way over my head with exchanges, and sometimes when that happens, it's best to just get out of the pool before you drown.

I did keep my Press Start assignment, though! I'm looking forward to working on it. :)

But the exchanges that I dropped did serve to remind me that I am primarily a gen writer, despite my recent dabbling in shippy fic. The pairing prompts for the exchanges sounded interesting and fun, but try as I might, I just could not get these pesky characters to act like anything more than Best Buds, and there's nothing worse than forced romance. So, when I decide which exchanges to sign up for next year, and which to drop, I'm pretty sure the ship-centric ones will be the first on the chopping block.

And first among those will probably be the femslash ones, which pains my heart because I love some lady-lovin', but I'm apparently a bit too vanilla for the exchange communities. This is where that tonal mismatch I mentioned above comes in. I signed up and defaulted on both Femslash Kink and Femslash After Dark, because I just don't think I can write the kind of stories my recipients would enjoy. In both exchanges, I matched on one fandom/pairing and one freeform tag, but the specific requests were very far out of my wheelhouse and comfort zone. Personally, I like my smut lighthearted and fun, and clearly list noncon/dubcon in my DNWs, but for both exchanges, I received requests for noncon/dubcon, as well as encouragement to get as mean, twisted, and manipulative as I wanted to. Which is no problem, if dark smut floats your boat; but if it's definitely not something you want to work with, it's a bit uncomfortable.

I know matching is difficult, but I think it would be very helpful for mods to consider DNWs in the matching process as well. I would be happier to hear that I was unmatchable than feel uncomfortable/naive/immature for not wanting/being able to deliver the kind of material my recipient is seeking. Just a thought.

I also think that the fact that I don't share fandoms with most of the community makes me harder to match, so I'll just give those an official pass, and maybe peek in to see if I can treat.

Anyway, in my flailing around to try to get my assignments to actually work, I did get some words down, so let's go ahead and count those in!

Stats!

Total words written this week: 1,206
Total words written this year: 65,117
Total days written this week: 2
Total days written this year: 57

Comments

[runicmagitek]

Oh I'm so sorry you had to drop from multiple exchanges :( but I'm glad you recognized it wasn't going to work out and defaulted before stress and stuff got out of hand.

Also don't mind me rambling, because I resonate with so much of this and it's frustrating to have an exchange assignment that does not and never will vibe with you.

In all my time in creative fields, whether it was art school or doing tabletop rpgs or even writing fics today, it has been my experience that the best creative moments are when you give loose thoughts on the matter and allow the creator to spin that however they want. Like whenever I commission illustrators, I mostly give vibes I'm looking for, because I want to see what their interpretation is. Me dictating "it needs to have this, this, and this" just... isn't helping anyone out. And those kinds of demands really stifle the creative process. Like how are you supposed to be you when people are asking you to be anything but that?

Which is also why my exchange letters are fucking massive, because I want to give a wide variety of ideas for anyone who is matched with me. Want to explore some gen stuff? Sweet! Here's what I'm into. Maybe something more twisted and dark? Not a problem, I got you! Shippy goodness or even filthy smut? Grab a plate and pick what you want at the buffet. At no point do I ever want someone to feel lost or struggling to figure out what to write for me nor do I want them feeling obligated to write me a very specific thing.

And it's difficult when letters or even listing likes/dnws aren't 100% enforced. Even when letters are highly recommended, the length and quality of them vary. I think Yuletide is the best with giving people input on what to do and not do (I remember there was a big post about it last year and it was helpful with me cleaning up my usual letter), but even then, people aren't obligated to follow anything in your letter, save for honoring your DNWs.

That said, it's EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING when someone treats the letter section as a "I want this exact prompt fulfilled". Like really? Really? Two people could love the same character/pairing/whatever and want completely different things out of it and thus it's beyond unfair to expect whoever you're paired with to be 100% aligned with you. I can think of three times I was in different exchanges where all I got was a 2-3 sentence long prompt for A Single Specific Thing and I was just like.... sigh. One of them was strictly a smut request too in a generic exchange and I was cool with writing smut (not entirely how they wanted it - I don't understand why people demand shit like "Character A needs to top and Character B needs to bottom" like fuck that, I just want them having a good time and I don't care where in the layers of this smut sandwich they are). But I always remember thinking "What if I didn't get this and someone else did and that someone was not comfortable writing smut????"

I don't know how the logistics would work, but I would love to see an extra "willing to write *insert thing here*" opt-in thing, especially for smut-oriented exchanges. And I feel you - video game fandoms in general are so hard to find other people writing for them that it can be another blockade for pairing someone, but like... I ALSO THINK PEOPLE SHOULDN'T DEMAND SHIT THAT MIGHT NOT BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA WTF

Also, I feel like some people (not you, just others I've come across on the internet) associate kink with "messed up shit" which is... yeah, kind of missing the point. Like there's a huge difference between, I dunno, a hand kink and knifeplay. I feel that's not a difficult thing to understand, but here we are.

Also also, if you ever get assigned to write me a thing in an exchange? I am 1000000% game for "best buds" vibes with any and every pairing I ever request for. THAT'S THE GOOD SHIT!!! Like those pre-relationship feels of just existing with each other and supporting each other AHHHHHHH.

OK I'M WRAPPING UP NOW tl;dr - people are a bag of dicks and I'm sorry you had to drop because of it BUT you are an amazing writer with amazing ideas and I hope you keep doing the things that make you happy, because there are plenty of people who also enjoy those things too, vanilla or whatever flavoring be damned.

[deemoyza]

Oh, I don't mind your rambling at all! :D You articulated so much of what I've felt about some of these exchanges far better than I could have. I know there's always a possibility that a writer's tastes might not mesh well with those of the exchange community at large, but I think for these cases, requiring list of general likes, in addition to DNWs, at sign-up might be helpful. That way, there's something for the writer to work from; for example, if I don't feel like writing the characters to be as mean and manipulative as possible, I could always fall back on the recipient's general likes to deliver a fic that would at least be enjoyable for them to read.

And you hit the nail on the head with how quite a few people seem to interpret "kink" as something necessarily dark and twisted, and I think that's where some of these tonal mismatches occur. For example, "outdoor sex" can mean a fun romp in a garden or the woods to some, and exhibitionism or public humiliation to others, and matching those perspectives on that kink alone can make for an awkward assignment.

But then again, I guess it's just a chance we take with exchanges.

I, too, love pre-relationship interactions between characters, especially as they are slowly growing closer to one another! It's just hard to gauge where a recipient places the threshold between ampersand and slash pairing, so I'm always a bit doubtful when writing those for exchanges. It's good to know you're comfortable with that stage of a relationship between characters; I'll keep it in mind, should I get assigned to write for you someday! :D

Thank you so much for the encouragement! 💕 It was a bit disheartening to realize I couldn't fulfill my exchange assignments, but seriously, I feel so much better having admitted it early enough that my recipients could receive gifts they would really enjoy. And letting go of what I couldn't do has also given me a chance to rest and recharge my brain for my Press Start assignment and other little projects I've been keeping on the back burner. :) And you're right--fanfic is a hobby, and we should all continue to write what makes each of us happy! I think I need that reminder every now and then! :D