Love the way men love
Nov. 5th, 2024 09:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deemoyzaI came across this post on Tumblr and I'm ridiculously emotional over it. I touched on this a little bit in my tags, but it is important to see this side of men, and see it regularly. So much of the media we consume, from news to entertainment, practically inundates us with the worst behavior men have to offer, to the point where, for some of us, fear -- or, at the very least, suspicion -- seems to be the only viable reaction to the presence of any masculine-presenting person.*
To see, then, men who love deeply, and express that love in ways that are unique to them and the recipient of their love, is incredibly heartening. All of the gestures mentioned in that post are invaluable, and run so much deeper than rote recitation of three words or a bouquet of flowers or sparkling jewels (though chocolate is still appreciated ;) ). To me, this is love in its truest sense, a giving of oneself, for the comfort or joy or memory, or even the simple companionship, of another. It is not necessarily a sacrifice, because what they give is not gone, it simply becomes something else that they can share with others.
And to incorporate this into my ongoing quest to buy milkshakes at Home Depot, I think this kind of love is what is missing in many of the stories that I read. I find too many that rely on conflict and misunderstanding, or love as possession (which, if those tropes are your jam, you do you, enjoy!), but neglect the smaller pieces that make up a larger relationship. Please give me more quiet moments and thoughtful gestures and gifts between both parties that are unique to their characters as individuals. Please give me little moments of genuine connection, of genuine love, of a relationship that feels safe and nurturing. The world is mean enough, frightening enough, right now; let me find a safe harbor in this storm, even if it's only for a few hours. Let me have the freedom to wish for something better.
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*Just to clear some stuff up: I had a good home life, with a good father who loved both me and my mother, but I was aware that, even among my close family, this seemed to be the exception, and not the rule. Having since been single all my life and only encountering men on a regular basis as coworkers and supervisors (to whom I am inferior unless I am giving 110% all day every day), it's fair to say that my view of men is incredibly skewed. But that's exactly why posts like these are important, to show men who are loving and kind, and who find ways to express that love that are unique to them and their lived experiences.
To see, then, men who love deeply, and express that love in ways that are unique to them and the recipient of their love, is incredibly heartening. All of the gestures mentioned in that post are invaluable, and run so much deeper than rote recitation of three words or a bouquet of flowers or sparkling jewels (though chocolate is still appreciated ;) ). To me, this is love in its truest sense, a giving of oneself, for the comfort or joy or memory, or even the simple companionship, of another. It is not necessarily a sacrifice, because what they give is not gone, it simply becomes something else that they can share with others.
And to incorporate this into my ongoing quest to buy milkshakes at Home Depot, I think this kind of love is what is missing in many of the stories that I read. I find too many that rely on conflict and misunderstanding, or love as possession (which, if those tropes are your jam, you do you, enjoy!), but neglect the smaller pieces that make up a larger relationship. Please give me more quiet moments and thoughtful gestures and gifts between both parties that are unique to their characters as individuals. Please give me little moments of genuine connection, of genuine love, of a relationship that feels safe and nurturing. The world is mean enough, frightening enough, right now; let me find a safe harbor in this storm, even if it's only for a few hours. Let me have the freedom to wish for something better.
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*Just to clear some stuff up: I had a good home life, with a good father who loved both me and my mother, but I was aware that, even among my close family, this seemed to be the exception, and not the rule. Having since been single all my life and only encountering men on a regular basis as coworkers and supervisors (to whom I am inferior unless I am giving 110% all day every day), it's fair to say that my view of men is incredibly skewed. But that's exactly why posts like these are important, to show men who are loving and kind, and who find ways to express that love that are unique to them and their lived experiences.
