A hodgy-podgy post
Nov. 26th, 2022 10:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deemoyzaTime continues to be a mystery to me. It's only been a couple of weeks since I last posted here, but it feels like months. On the other hand, the past month has felt like a week. Whatever. :/
Anyway, I'm still here, still battling my way through the mess that this year has been, and netting a few (very tiny) wins in the process.
⁕ Life Stuff: The job search continues, and continues to be confusing. Some days, I've resigned myself to the fact that custodial work is the only work I'm capable of, and other days I rage at the systems that keep me there. But the question remains: would I actually be any good at any other kind of work? I've never had the chance; maybe employers are right to keep me where I am.
In any case, I interviewed for a job that starts at roughly the same wage I left my previous job at, and am now entering week two of the three to four weeks I've been told to wait for a response. Guess I'll just focus on the holidays for now, and let this carry on in the background.
My mental health continues to be up and down, but recently, neither the ups nor the downs have been extreme. I'm feeling a bit more even-keel, and I hope this lasts. As long as it remains manageable, I am happy. :)
Oh, and a questionnaire I filled out at my last psych appointment strongly suggests I may have ADHD. Seriously, that would explain SO MUCH. I'm not going to pursue an official diagnosis at this time, but it's kind of comforting to know that the things that made me weird as a kid (and still do, to some extent), didn't just come out of the blue. My brain might be wired strangely, but it's the only one I've ever known, and I'm quite fond of it as it is, ups and downs and all. :D
⁕ Writing-wise, NaNo never even got off the ground for me. I'm not terribly disappointed, nor surprised. Every year, I vow to do it, and every year I don't even start. This year was particularly stupid. I was trying to force myself back into creativity/productivity, and you just can't force that stuff. It'll happen when it happens, I guess.
⁕ A couple weeks ago, I went to the local zine festival. The zine scene here is still very small--the fest fit into a library conference room--but it was nice to see the creativity and passion the zine makers put into their projects. I came away feeling very inspired, and later had fun making some of my shorter stories and poems into mini zines, just because.
⁕ Random fandom thought: At what point does crowd-sourced creativity become a "too many cooks" situation? I'm specifically thinking about this in the context of the whole Goncharov deal on Tumblr. For the first few days, it was exciting, watching people take little details here and there and weave together a background, a plot, even a score. It was improv on a large scale, and it was fun to see where someone would take it next. But as the week wore on, under the deluge of art and fic and memes, it began to feel...like any other big fandom out there. Oversaturated, overexposed, a joke that went on too long.
Now this is all just my personal opinion, and I'm definitely not here to dump on anyone who's enjoying the nascent Goncharov fandom--you do you and have fun doing it--but for me, the biggest thrill was in the initial creation of the concept. Now that Tumblr seems to have more or less solidified the characters and their motivations and some sort of overarching theme, the magic is gone. It's just another fandom now.
But that electrically-charged creative chaos of the first 48 hours or so was glorious, and I'm really glad I was able to watch it unfold.
⁕ Yelling at one more cloud: I love seeing Transistor fanart cross my Tumblr dash. There are some incredible artists out there, with innovative takes on characters and situations, but why, WHY do so many of them depict Red in high heels?! Her boots are flats, and that little detail alone made me turn a little bit of my heart over to Jen Zee. Finally, an artist who understands that high heels are impossible to do much of anything in, other than stomp and waddle and maybe shimmy down a catwalk! Red's shoes were a ridiculously refreshing detail in female character design, and I guess I just get a little salty seeing that ignored, in favor of what we all seemed to be conditioned to expect a female character to be wearing.
⁕ Despite the grumping above, I'm really not feeling bad at all; in fact, the grumping shows that I have enough energy to care about more than basic survival tasks. I'm doing pretty good at the moment, and I'm hoping this continues, and carries over (just a little bit, please!) into my creativity. Fingers crossed! :D
Anyway, I'm still here, still battling my way through the mess that this year has been, and netting a few (very tiny) wins in the process.
⁕ Life Stuff: The job search continues, and continues to be confusing. Some days, I've resigned myself to the fact that custodial work is the only work I'm capable of, and other days I rage at the systems that keep me there. But the question remains: would I actually be any good at any other kind of work? I've never had the chance; maybe employers are right to keep me where I am.
In any case, I interviewed for a job that starts at roughly the same wage I left my previous job at, and am now entering week two of the three to four weeks I've been told to wait for a response. Guess I'll just focus on the holidays for now, and let this carry on in the background.
My mental health continues to be up and down, but recently, neither the ups nor the downs have been extreme. I'm feeling a bit more even-keel, and I hope this lasts. As long as it remains manageable, I am happy. :)
Oh, and a questionnaire I filled out at my last psych appointment strongly suggests I may have ADHD. Seriously, that would explain SO MUCH. I'm not going to pursue an official diagnosis at this time, but it's kind of comforting to know that the things that made me weird as a kid (and still do, to some extent), didn't just come out of the blue. My brain might be wired strangely, but it's the only one I've ever known, and I'm quite fond of it as it is, ups and downs and all. :D
⁕ Writing-wise, NaNo never even got off the ground for me. I'm not terribly disappointed, nor surprised. Every year, I vow to do it, and every year I don't even start. This year was particularly stupid. I was trying to force myself back into creativity/productivity, and you just can't force that stuff. It'll happen when it happens, I guess.
⁕ A couple weeks ago, I went to the local zine festival. The zine scene here is still very small--the fest fit into a library conference room--but it was nice to see the creativity and passion the zine makers put into their projects. I came away feeling very inspired, and later had fun making some of my shorter stories and poems into mini zines, just because.
⁕ Random fandom thought: At what point does crowd-sourced creativity become a "too many cooks" situation? I'm specifically thinking about this in the context of the whole Goncharov deal on Tumblr. For the first few days, it was exciting, watching people take little details here and there and weave together a background, a plot, even a score. It was improv on a large scale, and it was fun to see where someone would take it next. But as the week wore on, under the deluge of art and fic and memes, it began to feel...like any other big fandom out there. Oversaturated, overexposed, a joke that went on too long.
Now this is all just my personal opinion, and I'm definitely not here to dump on anyone who's enjoying the nascent Goncharov fandom--you do you and have fun doing it--but for me, the biggest thrill was in the initial creation of the concept. Now that Tumblr seems to have more or less solidified the characters and their motivations and some sort of overarching theme, the magic is gone. It's just another fandom now.
But that electrically-charged creative chaos of the first 48 hours or so was glorious, and I'm really glad I was able to watch it unfold.
⁕ Yelling at one more cloud: I love seeing Transistor fanart cross my Tumblr dash. There are some incredible artists out there, with innovative takes on characters and situations, but why, WHY do so many of them depict Red in high heels?! Her boots are flats, and that little detail alone made me turn a little bit of my heart over to Jen Zee. Finally, an artist who understands that high heels are impossible to do much of anything in, other than stomp and waddle and maybe shimmy down a catwalk! Red's shoes were a ridiculously refreshing detail in female character design, and I guess I just get a little salty seeing that ignored, in favor of what we all seemed to be conditioned to expect a female character to be wearing.
⁕ Despite the grumping above, I'm really not feeling bad at all; in fact, the grumping shows that I have enough energy to care about more than basic survival tasks. I'm doing pretty good at the moment, and I'm hoping this continues, and carries over (just a little bit, please!) into my creativity. Fingers crossed! :D
