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deemoyzaChapters: 1/1
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Rating: Teen
Characters: Rinoa Heartilly, Squall Leonhart
Relationships: Rinoa Heartilly/Squall Leonhart
Summary: Squall can't shake the glimpse of future he received in Ultimecia's time, and sees her shadows even in the present. Even around Rinoa, even as Rinoa wants nothing more than to pull him into the light with her, to gain and retain his trust.
Notes: Written for the FF8 Tender Love Care Challenge on Tumblr. Prompt: "Free Theme: Trust"
Squall sometimes wondered if Ultimecia had managed to steal his eyes during Time Compression. Maybe, during a split-second of insanity, she had plucked them from his skull and replaced them with ones imprinted with her image, her shadow never far from his field of vision.
It was a ridiculous, irrational notion, especially for someone like him, but he was running out of logical explanations for the fact that, over a year after her defeat, Ultimecia continued to haunt his dreams and his waking thoughts, and had transformed a place of memory into a nightmarish reminder of an inevitable future.
He hated visiting the old orphanage, despite the modest and comfortable renovations Edea had made to it. The air there was suffocating, both with painful nostalgia and with the dread of what was to come, and on the breeze, the scent of the sea mingled with the smells of blood and death. But it was the only place Rinoa could safely hone her magic skills, away from judgmental eyes and possible collateral damage, and he accompanied her there once a month, dutifully, stoically, in a manner befitting a knight.
Each time they visited, however, the problem grew worse, and this time, he found that he couldn't even look at the lighthouse behind the orphanage without seeing Ultimecia's castle looming beyond it. He closed his eyes and shook his head and turned toward Rinoa, but Ultimecia was there too, a tall, svelte shadow hovering above her, poised to strike at the first sign of weakness.
Rinoa tilted her head questioningly, then gave his arm a playful punch. "Relax, will you?" she said. "We're a world away from Garden, from your office, from all your responsibilities! You don't have to do anything right now besides just being here and watching over me. Just watch me; is that really so hard?"
She wrinkled her nose and gave a playful grin, but Squall's frown only deepened. The glow that preceded the eruption of her wings was already shining through the back of her shirt, and multifaced swirls of gold were creeping into her irises. He gave a stiff nod but averted his eyes; he couldn't watch Rinoa's wings unfurl in the throes of magic without seeing Ultimecia's darkness spreading through them. And he couldn't look Rinoa in the eye at these times, when her irises flared a brilliant gold, so close to the color of Edea's eyes, only a shade or two removed from Ultimecia's.
"Go on, then," he said, taking a seat on the steps that led to the beach. "I'll be here. I'll watch."
She nodded, and jogged toward the water's edge, already trailing sparks from her fingertips, so full of magical energy she seemed about to go off like a firework. But he did not watch. He couldn't watch, without seeing the shadows of what she might become.
