Bits 'n bobs

[deemoyza]

✿ Started my job at the museum this past Thursday. It's been a while since I've been on my feet for eight hours, so that took some getting used to. I also needed to settle a giant case of nerves. I've been so nervous about this job, so worried that they're going to regret hiring me, that it became a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy: I was nervous so I made stupid mistakes, and each mistake made me more nervous so I just kept making more. But the past couple of days have gone better; I settled down and focused, and brought my work back up to its previous level of quality.

With all this talk, you'd think it was some kind of complicated job, but no. I simply forgot how to clean. XP

✿ I've fallen so far behind on everything. My Tumblr drafts folder has become unwieldy again, and I haven't written anything in two months! The latter is especially a problem, since I have an exchange fic due on Friday.

✿ The photos from the burlesque performance really threw my self-image for a loop, and I had to come to terms with that. Practicing self-love and compassion is incredibly difficult, and I don't always succeed. That said, I focused instead on how much I thoroughly I loved performing, and my love of the stage ultimately outweighs my ambivalence toward what I see in the mirror and in photos. In other words, I'm going to continue my journey into burlesque. The only way forward is through, after all! My next class starts Thursday night; I'm excited! :)

✿ Do you remember when this used to be primarily a fannish/writing blog? Yeah, me neither. Sorry about that. 😅

Comments

[operasteers]

yknow, ive only ever really thought of the film Burlesque when i hear of Burlesque that it didn't even cross my mind you can train for it, so that's really cool to hear and i wish you the best with your lessons

likewise best of luck with your job! it's easy to fall to our nerves but it's good to hear that all is going better ^^

[deemoyza]

Thank you so much! 💕 The burlesque routines I'm learning aren't quite as flashy as those in the movie, but it's still really fun to learn! And because modern burlesque is so inclusive of all body types, ages, genders, etc., it's also incredibly empowering. :)

[iffylogic]

Hooray for first week jitters! I'm glad the worst of them have come and gone at least. XD

I hear you on falling behind though, same here. Worse, it feels like the more things back up, the more intimidating it is to try and get back on track? Hopefully that's just me. XD Good luck just the same, I hope you can regain your footing before long!

[deemoyza]

I just felt so silly with mistakes I was making the first few days of this new job! I mean, it's just cleaning! XD But the second week has been going so much better, and I'm finally getting into a routine and I've learned the layout of the building (sneaky "hidden" restrooms and all!).

I definitely understand the intimidation of falling behind in all sorts of stuff, because that's one of the reasons it happens to me! I miss one little arbitrary deadline, and I freak out; while freaking out, I miss another, and another, and so on. It's the worst kind of snowball around! But usually, if I can block out an afternoon and take care of the oldest items on the list, that relieves the pressure somewhat, and I find it easier to move through the other things. But getting around to doing that is tough on its own! I blame ADHD. Completely!